Betty Wows on SNL, Chastity Becomes Chaz, Rekers Caught with a Rent-a-Boy

I always start a new week off with great anticipation. However, this week is unlikely to produce events the caliber of last week. 

What a week! The power of social networking put Betty White on Saturday Night Live as the oldest host ever and she wowed them. Chastity Bono officially became Chaz, legally changing her gender. As the Gulf oil crisis escalated, people began to ask if the initials BP really stood for Biggest Polluter. Another prominent anti-gay crusader, George A. Rekers, got caught with his pants down and a rent-a-boy. Though still scary, the Times Square Bomber fortunately turned out to be a real doofus. 

And on the local scene. 

• As I walked into the gym Thursday, a guy was standing outside smoking. I couldn’t resist asking if he was smoking before working out or if he had just finished. “Neither,” he replied, “I’m in the middle.”

• Worse pick up line of the week. A young guy at the gym asked an attractive young woman if he could follow her around and watch her work out. “I don’t know how girls work out. I want to educate myself.”

• My dog Bailey loves Pedigree Marrobone treats. Noticing that they now advertise on the package: Preferred by 9 out of 10 dogs, he wants to know what the 10^th dog prefers.

• Worse Mother’s Day promotion. Undergear sending out emails last week noting: Remember What Mom Always Said. Don’t Leave the House without Clean Underwear. At least they provided a coupon for 25 percent off all underwear purchases with the email. 

Then again I could be wrong about this week not outdoing last week. It’s only Monday morning but already legend Lena Horne has died and President Obama has announced his Supreme Court nominee. According to The Borowitz Report, Republicans were lined up in opposition just waiting for the announcement. House Minority Leader John Boehner (D-Ohio) reportedly had a release, compiled in his tanning booth, that stated: “I oppose the nomination of BLANK because I believe BLANK would lead the court down a dangerous path toward judicial activism. In short, I cannot think of a worse choice for the Supreme Court than BLANK.”  Republicans also are reportedly working on a new IPhone app called IOppose.

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