Week in Review: Kirstie Alley’s Weight Lands Her a Reality Show; Wanda Sykes Hasn’t Slept with Any of Her Staff yet; Jeremy Piven Blames Soy Milk for Man Boobs

What a week! One celebrity continues to make big bucks by being fat. Another develops man boobs and, oh yes, there was an election.

Give Me a Break: Kirstie Alley is getting a reality show focusing on her “struggle” with her weight. Hasn’t she made enough money off her inability to pull back from the dinner table? First Jenny Craig and now this. Isn’t that double dipping? Get a new gimmick, Kirstie.

By the way, did you ever notice that the problem with most reality shows is they resurrect celebrities you thought were dead — or should be?

Best license plate of the week: ILUVBEN on a new Mercedes SL65 AMG being driven by a beautiful young blonde woman. I would love Ben too if he gave me one.

From Jay Leno: Wal-Mart is now selling caskets. It could be worse. If you bought it from IKEA you would have to put it together. Speaking of Leno, the Housewives of Atlanta, appearing on his show’s Battle of the Celebrity Allstars, did nothing to offset the perception that Georgia’s education system is right down there in the mud with Mississippi’s and South Carolina’s.

Best celebrity promo: Wanda Sykes, promoting her new late-night TV show, “I’m here to say I haven’t slept with anyone on my staff yet.”

Don’t you love that Macy’s 150th anniversary promo with Bob Hope, Lucille Ball, Johnny Carson and Orson Wells? There’s something warm and reassuring about it even if we can’t afford to shop at Macy’s anymore.

Most obnoxious commercial of the week: Would you mind if I paid you in Trident (sugarless gum) Layers?

And speaking of commercials, just what IS the nationality of Geico’s gecko? Will we ever be told? Such a cliffhanger.

Most confusing TV promo: California has unemployment rates hovering around 12 percent, the state’s economy is in the gutter, and yet Gov. Arnie, wife Maria and a bunch of celebrities continue to promote California as a place for people to come, work and play in a TV promo. ‘Splain, Lucy, ‘Splain. Why would you want to add to the population you can’t support?

Worse celebrity news item: First Jeremy Piven blamed sushi for mercury poisoning. Now the actor claims he grew man boobs from drinking excessive amounts of soy milk. Next he’ll be blaming some food for his acting ability not developing. Or, even worse, get a reality show focusing on his weight problem.

You’ll have to provide your own soy milk, but here’s the best coffee deal around: World Market’s whole bean French roast, 24 oz for only $8.79. A friend says the Italian roast is equally good.

Best drug-related comedy line heard this week: I could never do a drug that I had to make (like crystal meth) because I wasn’t that good at chemistry in school.

Best drug-related news item: Whoopi Goldberg joking on The View that she was moving to Breckenridge, CO, because they had just legalized pot.

Oh so true: Some people can handle alcohol and you know who you are. Some people can’t, and you don’t have a clue.

Worse sensory bombardment: You’re trying to pump gas and there above the pump is a video screen screaming at you. Hopefully that’s an experiment that will soon die.

The Last Word: While everyone was debating the significance of the two Republicans getting elected governors in the elections this week, the answer was really quite simple: It’s STILL the economy, stupid!